welcome.
Meow.
Meow. |
[No, not the "brown hair blue eyed" ones] Tradition is worse. [No, not making cookies at Christmas.] Problem: 1)-Depression is kinda suckish last I checked. 2)-Self-doubt can cause that. 3)-Weak relationships escalate it. 4)-They all run in the family. My gut hurts. I don't particularly like it when people just, I don't know, leave. People that I had thought were a support structure, disappear. Makes me kinda wonder what I did wrong. Not like it matters what i did wrong, my best friend would understand. Well, I don't have one of those at the moment. Any idea what i should do about that? Didn't think so. I'm convinced that my life is going to have to revolve around hugs. It's the only way I can acctually feel love at the moment.
Love is the most amazing thing in the world, although, I'll admit, I'm kind of sick of it. The only reason I feel hatred toward it is simply because i don't understand it. There's a longing that you feel, but it's mostly one sided. Pathetic and trying and hard. And to think that I got myself stuck in the middle of it. Pathetic. But damn how nice it would be. Yet another dream to put on the back-burner forever. I want it so bad. But I won't even let myself have a taste. Ironic isn't it?
Ba Ba Sha-Doo Bee Doo" I'm in the such a happy mood these days. I'm getting a C in Civics, and could care less! I could used to this happy thing.
It sounds stupid, but I'm WAY behind on my hug quota. The social aspect of school really is quite nice. To think, without school, I'd be on the computer all day... Who wants a rotted brain? hmm..that might be a good album title. But that's beside the point. Being away from people sucks.
So selfish. But of course, there's no reason to feel this way. (like there ever is...) I know I've mentioned before that everyone need some sort of love or affection in their life before, but it's just now hit me that I've recieved more of that than I thought could be possible. Funny how stuff works. The more you give, the more you get. Huh. I like it.
What an interresting time that was. I became pretty close with those i hadn't known well before. I think i gave more hugs in that time then ever before. Sure, they were mostly labled "awkward," but that was the fun in it. Sure, it was extreamly perverted, but that made it even better. These people really were pretty great. And to think, i miss them after a day or two. How often does that happen? Not often. "I feel that I've seen you somewhere, do you have a name? Have you ever met me before do you know my name?" -I can't wait. |
