welcome.
Meow.
Meow. |
That's it. Why am I so tired as vacation's coming to an end? How has this helped me? I'd like to think that I could go into next week with some kind of hope. But I can't. How emo of me. Pathetic. Or maybe apathetic. Probably both. Plus side? I've gotten away from most of the drama. Sure...it was unattended to, and destined to be the topic of my week, But I'm completely fine not having it in the next 72 hours. Perhaps that's what I take from this. The attitude of apathy in these scenarios. Now that's a thought. Darling. No. The end.
"Like not burning in hell?" "I wasn't going to be that blunt, but yeah, pretty much" I love how may dad is discovering the controversial side to religion. "David's mighty men are Lynard Skynard!" Oh wow, he needs to write a book (: Today's been low key, but I did my science homework. And that reminded my of Wadleigh's homework. Why is her class so horrible? I so wish I had a clue how to write a research paper. Maybe I'll ask someone.
I already can't feel my legs and my neck is throbbing. But hell, I forgot about everything for a couple hours, and I congratulate myself for that simple thing. Silly me. Stupid silly me. So I was curious, and did some looking around. And bam. It hits me right in the face. I reallyyyy wish I hadn't found that. It's not that it's necessarily bad or anything...I just would have rather not known that it was there. Stupid girl. So, I've decided if I never tour, I want to be a sound guy (: Either one of the dudes in the back equalizing everything or testing the equipment. I just think that would be so much fun. Hmm, oh well.
Everybody needs that experience I do believe. Have you ever blogged in a mosh pit? I didn't think so! Hoorahh for getting home at 3 in the morning!! Oh happy dayy! "When Jesus washed! 'Tell me sista!' He washed my sins away!" Oh chorus...Gospel music!! Hoorah for 2 hour car rides! Yayy! (Be expecting phone calls) Reminds me of nerd camp...oh nerd camp Their class colors are the same as my favorite color! Whoot! Hoorah for mosh pits with headaches! Yay!!! Can you not tell how excited I am? Oh well!
Eww. That's lame. Despite the weather, I know I'll go for a walk today (: WPI is now sending me information for admissions. Sigh, I love that school (: I love that school a lot. Hmm...kinda bored. How about that walk...
I guess you can say that this amazes me. I wouldn't think that he wouldn't. Perhaps I just need to hear his side of it at one point in time. On my side anyways, I'm sorry. I feel like I screwed everything up by being ignorant to the situation. Maybe ignorance isn't bliss in this sense... On a more positive note? I got over last night. And yes, I was not lying, you made me cry. And then you yelled at me for crying. But I suppose it's okay in this instance. I haven't gotten that for a couple weeks. Maybe I need more of it. Hey Central, we made the front page (: Skeet skeet. I had an awful dream about you. A terrible horrible awful dream. I didn't understand the part about the future. Why? because it wasn't right, We never said that was going to happen. Sure, we'd joked about it, but it shouldn't ever occur. EVER in a million years. Which is why I'm glad that it was a dream... I look forward to our strange brainstorming sessions. Your words were oddly depressing... What's going on in that head right now? I'd very much like to know.
I want to feel the fear rush through my veins. My hands are cold from holding on to hopes that even ghosts have thrown away. It's all the same." -Daphne Loves Derby I was going to go to a basketball game today. But my mother wasn't too fond of that idea. "You were out all day yesterday, stay home." So what if I was out all day? I love how I miss everything when I leave. "Yup, dad had a migraine and the heat came on...it was 90 outside." That's so happy making that I missed that though... In reality, it's happy making just to be out of the house. Which is why I'll take walks in this weather. You never cease to amaze me. Did you know that? You probably did...seeing as I tell you most everyday. Mm, oh well. John Mayer and his version of route 66 (: Oh wow, it's stupid songs like that that make. That that....is that grammatically correct? Hmm...idk...at least it's spelled right for once.
I really like being able to sleep and not really be forced to wake up. I only wish I could sleep...that would be nice. Not like falling asleep, like staying asleep maybe. Rest is lovely. The sun's nice too... And the sun was gorgeous today. I may have wanted something a tad cooler, but it was such a nice change. A gorgeous change. Ever so much nicer than winter. Winter just gets old. Lovely day today though, both weather and activities alike. Now I'm tired. "Come now sleep."
Oh how satisfying it is to know that my homework truly can wait till tomorrow. I could care less about being bored at this point in time. I plan on keeping a relatively normal routine though. None of this staying up to the break of dawn talking to people or hanging out at a concert... I'll keep that at a strict 6-7 nights only basis (: Yeah, we'll see how that's going to go. I plan on taking lots of walks. A couple alone, maybe drag someone along with me. The air in the attic gets pretty stagnate when it's warm. Let's see what fate decides to do with me then. Darling dear, if I leave without playing guitar tomorrow I'm going to cry. I AM playing guitar, and there's nothing you can do about it (: You made that seem like fate today. I pretty sure that if it was, it would screw EVERYTHING up. When I say everything, I'm going to define it as everything...because it's entirely true. You know it would. I don't want you to worry. Please don't worry. You didn't do anything wrong, you haven't caused your own misery. I've meant to tell you that...I just haven't gotten around to it. If you are worrying, just don't tell me I guess. What I don't know can't hurt me. How true is that? What I don't know can't hurt me. If I was unaware about more things, sure I would be stupid. But I'd be oblivious. I suppose it's better to pretend to be oblivious that to actually be oblivious... Would that not make me fake then? I suppose it would. I don't feel fake though. I couldn't be. Could I?
Why would I? Why would I? Is there a reason why, The rain only falls on your head? It just doesn't seem right at all" -Daphne Loves Derby I do believe you need to hear that. Can that be my question tomorrow? That better be okay, cause that's what it is.
Probably barely 17, and a forehead of singularity. Not really a specific thought necessarily...but a general thought. She sounded quite fascinating. Aside from Dickens, things have slowed down since yesterday. Which is great, because I think I got bombarded with too many random irritating facts yesterday. Oh, yesterday. Such an awful day. I wish it hadn't been so awful... I REALLY wish it hadn't been so awful. Oh well, today wasn't horrible though. I love how it seemed that so many people wanted to take my ipod apart or fix it. You guys make my life (: There was so much that I could have brought up today. But I didn't. There was so much that could have been said, and we both know it. But it wasn't. Stay oblivious?
oh my gosh, that's my family.... because cami wanted to watch meaningless television, we decided just saying 'blah' would be more entertaining. horray for 5 minutes of nothing!!
-UnderOATH [x3] On a strictly comparative note, my 11:11 wish came true (: (Theories will be explained at a later date.) Rants... Science and English and Math are going to be the death of me. Must be a level four thing...probably. Why must everything be crammed into this week? Why does everything have to happen this week? C'est tres pathetic. Comment dit ont 'pathetic' en francaise? Je ne sais pas....C'est vrai. Either way, it has been hard as hell to get through. I don't particularly enjoy it when people tell me things I don't want to hear. Who would though? I also don't particularly like it when people tell me how to feel. Don't tell me how to feel. Well, you could tell me how to feel, I'll just get rather pissed off (: But I think I've decided the culprit of my feeling for the last couple of weeks. And it's most certainly not me. And I'd hate to blame it on you...but I'm going to. Because I'm pretty sure it's true. My lack of thought in the past week or two has been part of it, sure. But telling me how to think when I'm so out of it is soooo wrong. I don't understand why I listened. Well, now that I've learned from that minor mistake. Let's find some good in this week, shall we? 1)-Last week before vacation. 2)-...uhm. 3)-...really, I can't think of anything? Erg. I hope it's the math headache telling me that and that it's not true. Because if it was, it goes up pretty far towards the top of worst weeks. Darling dear, what am I going to do with you? One day we should just runaway, see what people's reactions would be. I'm sure they'd be quite interesting. OH, next year won't be that bad (: That's the other good thing that's come out this week so far... Hoping and praying for something a tad better.
I suggest we keep things like so. Why? Because you make me sleepy (: Things are comfortable now. So, Kirsty blogs now. That makes me happy (: So, I had what I was going to write about planned in science... Because I don't REALLY pay any attention in science. And I forgot everything... Some stuff I feel is just too much. Ahh, that sounds so dramatic (: Even though it's not. ...hmm. I'm thinking I'm probably going to do this again later...
I think you know you this too. Which seems to be exactly why you do it. Oh how the overall stress of this week has taken a toll on me before it even started. Lame. mm. I hope it ends on a nice note. I told you that you shouldn't care right? Yes. I vividly remember that discussion. Why does it seem that you've just tried harder? It's nice to have you all back (: It's silly, I know, but I look forward to your bickering. It's makes my day flow with a little more ease. Oh my, I really did love the random conversations we had today (: You're just so cute.
I read that little thing. That's why I'm having these problems. Anyways... I'm pretty much crying while writing this Annotated bibliography shit. Stupid Dresden. Wanna know why know one heard of it? No one really cares to read a 12 page paper on it. I don't care to write one. Shoot me? (: Darling dear's home. I'm hoping and praying everything will get back to normal. I could barely stand last week. I really don't want to go to school this week. Please, let that little reason be why everything's been so out of wack. I guess I could trace it back to the beginning. Everything's my fault of course. I'm perfectly fine with admitting that. Because the beginning was my fault, the rest isn't. I really am having a hard time figuring out what my heart wants now. Music? Of course. That'll never change. It's the rest I'm worried about. I can't seem to make up my mind. I know, I don't have to right now, I've got the rest of my life blah blah blah. If only I could just throw the confusing in a corner like I'd so like to. But not addressing it may even hurt people. And we've gone over that. I can't intentionally hurt people. Does that make me weak? I suppose. I figure eventually I'll find someone that'll help me with that weakness. My mother has such a strange way of putting that; Her and dad were made for eachother. Whether it's God or fate, one will never know, but I so believe that's true. They're just so...perfect. I can't tell you how many times people have told me they'd kill for parents like that, and I've tried my best not to take them for granted. But then I wonder if in the perfection I've found in that match that is my parents, that I worry about not having that. I find it ridiculous that so many people are divorced. Are we really truly that shallow? We can't possibly be. Well, maybe we are. If we are, I find it pathetic. Wow. Where did that come from? Anyways.... So, I started writing another song with a cute little melody that's been in my head. I love how much these things relate to my life...it's insane. I wonder who I could make a mix for... I'm kind of in the mood to make one... I think I will after guitar (:
Got halfway done with annotations. I may do more tonight...but I highly doubt it. "I'll stop the world and melt with you You see the difference, and it's getting better all the time." -I Melt With You. So you know how you told me if I could read that fast I'd be insane? Uhm. Well I do believe I'm insane now. But of course, you wouldn't leave even if I was insane for some reason. "Ohh, well I can see how that would be a valid reason." Thank you for understanding why I'm scared of you sometimes (: It means more than you think it would. I don't totally remember what I had said to you yesterday. I'm sorry I was so out of it. I really hope I didn't say anything that could have upset you. I remember bits of what you said. It helped. Thank you. I'm so happy you called today. I really needed the crying laughing spell today. I got a crying/laughing/stomach hurting spell yesterday though. "See, fiber one! Helps people poop!" Bahaha, oh my gosh Easton... Water bottles and college funds? How do we think of this! Mm, I don't know. I hope I have a nice dream tonight though. Something 10 minutes long maybe. Just enough to make me think I've left.
Like your shoes, Love your hair." -Hair_The Early November Uhm. So I just listened to the Punk Goes Pop 2 album... Stupidly entertaining as any other album they've decided to make. I still think the mockery of Punk Goes Crunk is probably the best. I mean really? Covers of rap songs? I thought only Brad Doggett could pull that off. Oh Brad Doggett. Always bringing me back to acoustic sanity. I think I've decided to write half my bibliography today, and half tomorrow. Why? I don't have the attention span to write any more today. I don't think I have the attention span for anything specific today as a matter of fact. To much on the brain. I did one of my Friday reset things. It didn't end well. Everything set in. And I mean EVERYTHING. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, FRIDAY, and even things from a month ago. And ouch. Why can't vacation start next week? Why can't I just leave for a little bit? Why why why? This weekend, Something has to help me get through next week.
Go to English. Get all depressed. Stare at the wall and think too much in study. Tell some stressful stories during walking. Then...well, it starts getting different. I couldn't delay the inevitable enough to my liking today. It is the inevitable after all. Or at least it seems to be now. "You okay?" "Not at the moment, no." That must really hurt you. "I really do try to help people, but I only seem to end up hurting them in the end." I know where your heart is. I just can't accept that yet. It's kind of hilarious how much my stress just explodes around you. It's like, all the stress from the day just shakes out of me. And it's really not that much of an exaggeration. I don't really like you seeing me that way, but it's the real me. There's not much I can do about it. Thanks for not judging me. "So you think it's funny that you keep calling me all of the time Everyday" "You've got me looking up, Even when I'm falling down You've me crawling out of my skin You've got wondering why I am underneath this big old sky Stoppin' the love and getting in" I'm sorry I put you through that dear. I really am. Darling dear, what am I going to do with you? I don't think I'll ever understand how you could feel that way about me. Then again, I'm sure my self-esteem doesn't really help that much. Perhaps I can get a break at some point from everything?
I have yet to figure out what exactly you want with me. "I love how it takes nasty food for you to come visit me." "You can walk too you know." This morning was odd. Couldn't focus AGAIN. Was given the evil eye from the Wad. A nicer one from others. And learned that the 19th century was a nice time for Alleluia pieces of music. Yupp, that's how bad it got. I love how the pieces are so similar but each have their own biting tone. ...oh my gosh, what is wrong with me? An hour and a half in a quiet library just isn't healthy for me. And then the sort of afternoon. I looked across the room at 11:11 and had nothing to wish for. I was so contented. So..deep in thought maybe? Perhaps. Too bad I'm not letting myself say much about it. "You two would sit up there." I guess I agree with that too a point, but again, I can't be sure. "20 bucks says you'll remember me" Oh, how I wish I could believe you. But something's stopping me. I wish I could just accept some things that are happening to me. But something's stopping me. Maybe it's the shoes on my feet. Perhaps they're just too stubborn to move. I'll just wait till tomorrow I guess. Pray I don't have to go to the library again.
to your beauty and you have a sweet sinful smile, I'm in trouble. Cause you turn me upside-down, and around, and around..." -Ingrid Michealson This morning was...fun to deal with. I already dislike mod A, you made it worse. It was pretty hard to focus in the library, so I read a dictionary of music terms. Really? Music terms? I'm so pathetic. Gym was...a lot to take in I guess. It took forEVER to sink in too. I'd rather be disappointed than hopeful at this point. I'm sorry it's so hard for me to talk about it =/. later. I need sweet tea and the piano right now.
I got my answer I suppose. But was it worth it? I legitamently wanted to run when I heard those pounding notes. Those gorgeous pounding notes. Damn. Fml. Like, really. I have too much in my hands. I don't want to. I didn't want to. But I did, of course. Ugh. Headache Why why why am I so stupid? Can someone explain that to me? Don't look at me like that please. You don't understand how horrible it is, To be watched while I'm so absorbed. Please don't care. Please don't care. You can't care that much." Today was...weird. A good weird with signs of what's to come maybe. But...I don't know. I'm not sure I'd like to keep it up. Too conceited. Or perhaps self-indulgent? Probably. Just another example of how this will ruin all relationships I have. Sigh. I'd like it not to end like that. Oh my dear, what am I going to do without you? You really do make my day, I don't know if I could survive alone (: I'm going to miss you. And you guys are too adorable. Just saying... "You know what, your senior year I'm going to come to your graduation and start screaming because you'll be the valid Victorian, and you'll just wonder who the crazy guy in the back is!" -haha, oh my yeahh right!
Why have you decided to talk to me so suddenly? I don't mind, it's just you're unexpected. I certainly don't have a problem with that. You're calming though. I like that. I was quite sick today at school. When I came home at least I had a fever. That probably had happened earlier though. The headache occured by mod a. I really would have liked to die then... But I couldn't. And by I couldn't die, I really mean I couldn't leave. Why? 1)-I had to see you. 2)-Tryouts. eww. Tryouts. Those went well though, apparently I have 'nothing to worry about.' One less things to get yelled at for this year.
I don't understand how you hate so much. How do you expect me to love you when you'd kill me if you could? Don't tell me 'She's just special.' That B.S. My life does not and will not revolve around her. It can't. When it does, Olivia goes away. Where does she go? Just away. Detachment was horrible the first time. Don't tell me it's okay to go back. It isn't. So, hope was the message at church today. But what I've realized is that I haven't really put my hope in anything. I find it difficult to even put my hope in God. But I have to. And it does help, even if I don't believe it. That's why I like religion. People can look at you and say 'why on earth would you believe that?' And all I'd say is for some sense of security. Too many times have other things fallen away from me while I searched for something. Something....tangible, meaningful I guess. The closest I've gotten to that is God, but I still can't always convince myself that he cares. No one cared before. Why should someone so important be burdened with it? Then I start questioning things. I know he's there. It's just hard to think that he understands. Does he understand that what I've longed for for the longest time probably won't happen for another couple of years? Does he understand that I've always wanted to be close to a friend, but I push away those I find too clingy? Does he understand that I can't stand my sisters although they've made me who I am? Does he understand that I never feel good enough? Does he understand that the one thing I'd love to do is the one thing I can never do with my life? Does he understand? I'm not saying I'm going back to a legit emo state, but these are the things that go through my head. I'm not saying my life is screwed up. I'm not saying I don't believe in God. I'm saying that some weird sense of security I get telling God about these things makes me feel better. Hmm. I don't think I've ever felt security with anyone. Too many standards. People have tried, it just freaks me out. Friendships are two sided. I need my guitar...again (:
What would I do without my dear Alex? My movie friend (: I can't really remember the last time I went to a movie without her. Certainly not a bad thing (: And since we never TOTALLY watch the movie, some interesting things came up. What in particular? The unexpected. ... No, not something unexpected, THE unexpected. Like, many of the people we know do unexpected things. You built a guitar? You work on cars? Since when do you play lacrosse? Stuff like that. I love unexpected traits in people. It keeps them interesting. Keeps me thinking. Keeps me wanting to know more. Unexpected things are mysterious and tempting. Haha, I like those words... But you get it. There's something really appealing about people when you don't know them. Something...unexpected.
What's so lovely about them? Hardcore harmonies? haha Maybe. Weekends are nice I guess. Not like I ever really do anything. I look forward to doing nothing then? Ehh, not really. So, what's so great about 'em? Mm, one will never know. Stupid brain.
-Syndicate:The Fray Damn. Two hour walk into uncharted territory (: It only took 40 minutes to find Alex! (We're so pathetic (: ) Then of course, we ran into Sam who just happened to see us from a block away. Sigh, what are we going to do with him? Why do people yell at me for not doing what they want me to do? ugh. Idk. I need sleep.
Dream a little dream of me" I love how many people I have to say hi too walking though the halls (: I mean really, I don't think I know anyone who vocally does it as much as I do. It's the stupid "Oh look, it's Jess/Jackson/Meg/Rachel/Aiza/Emma/Sam/Kirsty/anyone's name here" thing. I'm such a queer. I still can't get over the other day. I just don't understand the chances. Even today was...weird I guess. It's a what the heck, I'm never going to understand you thing. Please don't care so much, because I honestly don't understand why you ever would. Save yourself a breath, don't worry about me. I've always wondered why you cared too. I mean, you REALLY don't have a reason to care. 'Surgeon? Eww. Surgeons are gross.' "Point being dear?" 'Well, nothing I guess, I just don't see it.' Oh, just wait till next year dear. Perhaps you'll understand then. "You're birthday present was the best ever!" I love how you're so amused by my month late presents. I still feel horrible that it was a month late... But it did make you cry, so I suppose that's worth it. (You should look around and see just what you're missing sometime, by the way. I bet you'd learn to love it more if you tried) "Are you going to sing me a song or not?"
out in the middle of nowhere." I have absolutely no reason to feel this way right now. That doesn't mean that I don't though. I sang loudly alone for the first time in awhile. Well, alone for the most part. By alone, I mean only that no one was listening. And by no one was listening, I just wasn't paying attention to if anyone was or not. Was someone listening? Of course they were. But for five minutes I could honestly say I've sang like no one could hear me. It was so nice to experience to the point where I didn't care when someone acknowledged me. I need to start doing that a little more. For me. As selfish as it seems, I find it fitting. I need something, some sort of an outlet to let things out. I still haven't found that. And I don't think it's necessarily a matter of someone deciding the need to help me. I don't need help. I need an outlet. Since having someone to talk to doesn't seem to help... Maybe music would. Well, I'd hope that SOMETHING comes along and fills that void. I'm not sure how long I could go before I explode.
Does it make you want to scream? Did you ever like a bad dream? Hey, sometimes, life is obscene." -Thorn in my Pride:The Black Crowes (Did I mention it's the most gorgeous 6:04 I've ever heard?) Whoaaaa, what now? Don't do this to me, please, I really just don't want to get involved. Why must you look at me like that? There's something really strange about your smile. Is it a bad thing? Absolutely not, but it could turn into a bad thing. I don't enjoy it when other people lead it on too. Just, just don't. We'll talk later. In David Copperfield today, David told this Agnese girl that he loved 'as a sister.' That reminded me of you, though I probably won't tell you till a time when I remember. You poor kid, I can't imagine how that must feel. How do you convince yourself that you're over the person enough to like someone else? I would think that would be impossible, but somehow you managed. Silly boy, what would I do without you. I want you to understand that I just got scared. There's nothing you could have done to prevent that.
cookie dough. yumyum, until you eat a whole beater full of cookie dough. trust me. don't try it. unless you're with megan. she's pretty awesome. actually, she's amazing. no questions.
I honestly think that Tuesdays are worse though. Why? It's one thing to start the week. It's another thing to wake up and realize that although the week has begun, you've made not even a dent in it. Some would tend to contradict though. 1/5 is better than 1/7 most of the time, after all. But either way, Monday is Monday, just as today was today, and there's nothing to do about it. It doesn't matter. Today was lovely and horrible all at the same time. Classes like geometry and gym make me want to kill myself. But I'm starting to enjoy french and English a little more than I thought I would. Which is comforting, since they seem to sandwich my day. What happened to science? It's just not bio. I reallyyyyy like bio and chem...physical science just bores me unless I'm doing something with it.... Which I don't... But that doesn't matter I suppose. I still have to finish the class, and attempt to finish well. What happened to my passion again? I know, we've gone over my revilation when I had prayed for passion and I got my answer... But I'd still like to do well in school. Frankly, I don't think I'm doing too well. Don't tell me I'm smart. Don't compare me to anyone. I personally don't like where I stand. I wish I cared enough to change. But I don't. My parents seem to think I still want to go to Dartmouth. That's funny. That's really funny. WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU WROTE SONGS =S. What on earth am I going to do with you ?! You're the one that yells at ME for not telling you stuff. GOOD GOD MAN! :D! "but before I know it I'm going down this itty bitty river in a boat a little bigger than a bath tub my bones begin to shiver 'cause I'm aching to deliver this water that I must give her can I get some?" -Dispatch
Procrastination? It took us several hours to focus and build a wedge... Really? And of course, I don't know what I'm really doing, and to this day don't reall know what I could of done. Again, I can take apart and put together live things, not dead matter. Success? Well, we did finish after all. Sure, our test run was an accident... But it worked! (: Bonding? Life stories do count as bonding I suppose. I just wasn't expecting that much from either of you. Or, more that I wasn't expecting it then. It just, didn't seem like it would happen. Oh, but you guys are really so great. 'I don't understand how I'm so calm with you guys' -join the club babe, no one knows "Sometimes, I am afraid Afraid that I'll never catch my breath Going this pace (ahhhhhh) Struggling for space And you, you left me with Such a bitter taste in my mouth When we talked for the last time, whoa (ahhhhhhh) Honey, honey I'm sorry you had to I'm sorry you had to Take me so seriously Take me seriously All we have left to do now Is lay in our beds while it sucks every night, whoa When we were laid Right by the beach The sand on our skin The hair in your face The salt on our lips When we kissed And now I can't forget All of the little things we said with confidence With confidence, whoa I was mistold that Every good thing we have Must come to a bitter end Honey, honey I'm sorry you had to I'm sorry you had to Take me so seriously Take me seriously All we have left to do now Is lay in our beds while it sucks every night, Whoa I'm not ready I'm not ready If you come to me so strong and steady Please have mercy Please have mercy tonight, tonight I'm not ready I'm not ready to leave yet So please have some mercy Please have some mercy for me, for me Honey, honey I'm sorry you had to I'm sorry you had to Take me so seriously Take me seriously All we have left to do now Is sleep"
How did I manage such a thing? How did I manage to even stay entertained? Well, I guess I'll never know. Oh genetics... Kurt Vonnegut's a pretty cool dude. His autobiography is scattered in four short novels that he wrote. Which I like. I like that you learn about the author by him telling a story. It's very interesting. mm, I'm bored (:
I love rain when I sit up in my attic bedroom because I can hear the rain on the roof. But during school? That's just awful. So depressing... So...blehh. You know those people who you can just sit with in quite and it's not awkward? It's just...comforting? I like those people. There's something calming about them (: Today made me consider pursuing a career in chemistry (: Why? Because I look good with my hair up and goggles on (: Ohh, the discoveries one makes in Kelso's science class... "You're in debt now, I need two hugs at separate hours of the day" Yeah, those are my friends... We pay each other back in hugs =P
Thursday. I dislike Thursdays... The whole babysitting thing doesn't always bode well with me... I dislike babysitting more than Thursdays though... On a positive note, I had another lovely day (: Why has everything been going so happily and smoothly for me lately? I don't really intend on anything huge happening. I'm not looking forward to anything in particular. I suppose it's just an interest in my life now. I care to a point I guess. I care about waking up. I feel that I have a purpose. What's my purpose then? Oh my, I haven't gotten THAT far. I love hugs (: "I figured what you said was true, you win, I get hugs" Oh, it really is dear. I'm sure you love it much more than you let on. Did I mention I love hugs? ...Probably. I have discovered why drummers are so coincided! It's because they have the power to OVERpower any other instrument that's being played at the time. And they're perfectly fine with it! Oh, what am I to do with them?! Oh well, I love them anywaysss.
I'm not going to listen (: I love Liz. There's just something really calming about her presence. She just makes everything feel okay. Like, whatever's going on, it's okay. And that makes me happy. There are a few people who make me feel like that, some more than others. But then, there are the people that have scared me. Pushed me into something that wasn't even harmful... It just didn't sit right =/. At all. It's not that I don't like you, it's that I'm too afraid to tell you that I don't appreciate you opinions about him. You obviously don't know him that well. Don't judge him. I need sleep. Please?
-She Screams Remedy x3 So, I love you (: There's no way I could ever deny that. I'm not sure what it is... You just make everything okay. And I just want to be okay today. (know that maybe I will be okay!) (Whoa, Ingrid Michealson? yeahh) ANYWAYS, I'm just really lucky to have you in my life I've decided. I say this all the time, but I can't get over how many amazing people I have in my life. All of them. Every single freakin' one of em (: But most of them I love more than they can really understand I think. I just absolutely adore these people!. Gahh, I need to stop gushing (: |
