welcome.
Meow.
Meow. |
And yes, me and Kirsty would have a two conversation consisting of just band names. Mmhm. That's just us :) I love how awful I feel I'm doing in all my classes. I've got this nice barely a B thing going on. Distractions distractions? Maybe..but I honestly don't think so. Like English? B+ if I hadn't bombed the summer reading test. Math? I forgot that 6-1=5...not 3. Silly stupid mistakes. World History?...I don't even know. Not going there... French seems fine...this next test will bring me up considerably I think. Science is fine...not even going to bother worrying about it honestly. And Chorus? Ha...yeah. Tomorrow will be a good day. It really just has to be at this point. I would look forward to my Wednesdays. Up all night, finishing homework and such. My busiest day is one of my best. I'm pretty happy with that :) I'm happy with everything... I'm sick, school's awful, people have issues... I'm still oddly happy... ...what happened?
Exciting? No. Reallyyyyyy excited. I'm pathetic :) and I love it. I truly do love being so pathetic and obsessed with music. Take away music from me and...well, I think you'd be left with a ghost. "Maybe i know, somewhere Deep in my soul That love never lasts And we've got to find other ways To make it alone Or keep a straight face And I've always lived like this Keeping a comfortable, distance And up until now I had sworn to myself that I'm content With loneliness Because none of it was ever worth the risk, but You, are, the only exception" -:); Love it. Screw the mainstream mentality. Acoustic based is gorgeous x3. I scared myself playing piano again. Sigh. Maybe I just need to play more. I do believe I go through major emo underestimation phases. I hate those...I plan on having less somehow... How do I plan on doing that? Oh I don't know. I'll figure something out later... :). That was so cheesy darling. You're adorable.
And they were the picture of cheesy hopeless romantic. I always found people like that ridiculous...being lost in stuff like that. But now, here I am, the ridiculous one. "I love your ridiculousness :)" I strongly dislike not understanding things. School feels so pointless. I feel like there really isn't a point right now. I mean...we haven't reallyyy even gotten into the full swing of classes. "We'll get into that more later" -When's later exactly? Not like I want it to come. I'm so lethargic. There are only a couple things I even want to do at home. Like: 1)-Clean my room. I know, crazy, but silly little Huck Finn project caused me to be sleeping with my books?... 2)-Play piano and guitar and sing. It just feels better. Nahh, it feels great. 3)-See you...duh. 4)-Sleep. That's pathetic. I feel like I miss so much when I sleep. 5)-Get unsick or fully sick. My immune system just needs to pick one...none of this half stuff. I've decided the only reason I want to so badly is because I'm not allowed. Frowned upon in the family you could say. "Are you really THAT good?" -Ouch. Daddy, what happened? That was such a squish moment. I know...it's just been a bad week for us all. But really...it didn't help.
-Mr. Sterling on level four classes.
Not like on drugs or anything...just in general. I've done most of my school work for once...now I'm just floating. I got involved kinda...now I'm just floating. Now I'm sick...so the floating's a bit more of a reality than I thought. I just find it amusing how I'm just happily floating... Always happy....why why why... I don't want to understand. Not yet anyways. Ahh, last night was so much fun, even with a lovely pounding headache. All worth it :) Saw AKL again. Worse than before. But hey, I give them credit for getting up there and doing it....versus some people... Then there was iPod shuffling...lots of it. "Daphne Loves Derby....Anthony Green...Anthony Green." Very entertaining. Then mandles? "These are MANLY sandles..." Then the most unorganized game of apples to apples I've ever seen... So much fun though. "Just use Helen Keller. She was cute, she was creative..." Then...what? "Do you have a cd?" "Uhh...no...not yet, haha." -How the heck did you know I sang....creepy... Then there was you :) And of course I can't pin point any particular part I preferred. I liked them all :)
That's how Mr. Sterling told me to look at all my classes. "You either do it right, or die" Sigh..I love that class. I still find you so ridiculously amazing. "I was 15 seconds away from failing my driver's ed class.." "Silly Brad." You make me happier than I've ever been, don't forget it :)
I remember waking up to people at my house and now I'm here after a longgg day. I hate kids. Four and five year olds are...erg. Oh well. Afterwords was nice though :) Well...the 15-20 minutes. Practice? I didn't like practice. Not looking forward to performance :p. But the walk was great :) Just absolutely amazing :)
-Talk About; Dear and the Headlights. I am so so so dreading this project. I'm already ever so irritated about it. Why in the world we couldn't finish it on day one is simply beyond me. Everything just pisses me off about it. Yes; It'll get done. Eventually. I don't think I like the world eventually. For this; I just want it done. I want it done so I don't have to deal with it anymore. Apparently my perfect English group this year is going to have a slight modification. "I'll sing a song low, over the telephone In lower decibels, so you can hear it and hear it and hear and hear it" Sigh. You make me so happy :) Like, so amazingly ridiculously happy. And I feel slightly bad for making her...jealous? I was shocked when you told me that honestly... Should be an interesting day. :).
"It's not like he said more than one word to me today." "That just makes me so angry." -Your expression was so...concerned maybe is the word? "I just don't want to you have to deal with that." -And you were so serious. Eyes locked on mine like always. Of course always. Just watching your eyes and mouth worried me. I don't want you to worry. I don't want anyone to worry really...but I reallyyyy don't want you to worry. I care far to much about you to ever want you too. But I was just so taken back at how much you cared. No one's ever done that before for me. "Why don't we just walk?" "I'd be more than happy to do that." I got my hug :) And I'm satisfied for now. Well...that's a lie. I can't really ever be totally satisfied. But just because I know what's coming, I'll take just that for now.
-Kascade :) Yesterday was Sunday. So...self explanatory. But it was different. Finally got to get out of the box :) I love concerts so much...even if the music is...lacking? Mm, I don't know. It was probably one of the best nights I've had in awhile though. Very happy making. Ahh school... That focus thing is going to be difficult to manage. Sigh. Oh well :)
-:) I really can't wait for tomorrow for...various reasons. Okay, maybe just one reason. Mm, I'm pathetic sometimes :). But I'm a happy pathetic square...so it's okay. I confronted that issue. And I'm still concerned about it. I never meant to do that. I never do. I just don't want to concern.
"Oh, we can kill an hour." -I know we can...we can kill several million hours actually. I'm not sure if you can completely comprehend how I'm feeling. The constant conversation brings ridiculous amounts of happy to my day. I don't really understand what I could have possibly filled my time with a few months ago. "And he didn't know why he was so irrationally happy, for nothing had changed in his life or hers." -Ethan Frome, 56 :). The only person I know to have had this much of an effect on me. And I honestly could never trade this almost unrealistic feeling for anything.
Happy making and productive. But mostly happy making, obviously. Sunday was great. It always seems to be now. I love how I manage to be one of the last people at church always now. Sundays and Wednesdays. I was so amused at how matter of fact you said that. "My last class is on the 20th, then i get my license, and then we get on that list." Oh God that list is so huge. I can't wait :) I didn't procrastinate this weekend. Which I found very unlike me... I knew my feeling was right about this year :)
I've got homework in three subjects. World history for a rumored 3 hours. Biology for not too long I'll assume. And English summer reading and paper. I don't feel stressed though. Sure, I haven't started really doing anything, but I'm not thoroughly concerned yet. And I kinda sorta fixed my schedule. Music theory one heck yes...I'm going to like this class I believe. So, I was just contemplating some things that I've heard particular people say in the past to me. And I'm thinking to myself that they didn't entirely know what they were saying. Because really, a lot of the statements are simply unrealistic. I'm not entirely sure how to describe it, but it's as if I'm being lied to, except I'm aware of it. People say one thing and do another. It's not uncommon. It's not shameful until such things get out of hand. I highly doubt that made much sense at all. I just don't think it's necessary to state the same thing in everything I post... So I'll refrain...today.
With a test on Tuesday or Wednesday, that give me four days. A lovely chunk of time. Of course there's then that bio project and world history work...shouldn't be awful though. Maybe when this schedule thing works out it'll be partially more happy making. Though of course, the overall essence of this year is just happy. Sure, there's stress. Drama. Annoyance. But a heck of a lot of happy. "Your just amazing Miss Gunther. But your humbleness impedes your ability to see so :)" Just...happy. I feel like it could start to annoy people.
I hate school. I find it funny how pretty much everyone has issues with schedules. Makes day one so ridiculously stressful. Oh well, I suppose I have two mods to text people now... That's kinda nice :) It's really helpful to know that you're there to talk to though. Like, super get me through the day happy :). I love how I get home at three. Cool. Never ever in a million years going to be able to get to practice at three. We'll see what happens... |
