welcome.
Meow.
Meow. |
If I had a nickel every time someone said this to me, I'd be rich. Actually. I'd have a dollar. So, about 20 times. This time during mod H today it just hit harder. Now one has asked me about it for a couple weeks, And now, tutoring people I barely know in math, The question is brought up again. I didn't really answer, as usual. "Who told you that?" Then distraction. And a hey, guess what I figured out how to do on my calculator, here's the answer. And then the question gets lost in numbers. And letters. And buttons. But only from the real world. Not in my mind. It eats away at me. I feel like...so utterly confused. I don't understand. You kind of drifted...whether or not you really meant to. I hope you didn't mean to. I hope you didn't intend to do much damage. I hope I didn't do something incorrectly. And most of all, I hope so desperately that this is not what happened last year. And that's it's not what happened last year, that occurred again over the summer. Please don't be just the third person to go away without words. Please don't give me a legitimate reason to feel depressed and alone. All I want is to be acknowledged. I don't even feel that some days. I really wish she hadn't asked me about you today. In other news: 1)-Hamlet songs are coming along nicely 2)-Letters are nearly done 3)-Tomorrow's Friday 4)-I don't have a grueling amount of homework 5)-I don't have to babysit very long tonight 6)-I'm not THAT awful at piano some days. So, yes. I think that Thanksgiving break, Thursdays, and December have something against me. I'm sensing a trend. I want it to stop. Make it stop. I don't want to be quite so impulsive in my thoughts of what to do. "It feels like 15 elephants standing on my chest, 36 vultures picking at my flesh It's a man overboard without a life vest, Yeah I'm a little wigged out, but I'm doing my best. I just want a little bit more, a little bit more, little bit more little bit more tonight. I just want a little bit more, a little bit more, little bi, I just need a little bit more time." Time...and clarity. |
