welcome.
Meow.
Meow. |
Because it's clearly there. Because last night, I couldn't sleep. Then got woken up at five, due to a poor, light sleep. Managed to get out the door with a flashdrive. And go through the days ambivalent and pointless. I feel meaningless. Hello seasonal depression. I don't think I'm the only person to go through it, But why around the holidays? I want to be happy then. I want to be happy all the time, actually. I really do like smiling. The chemicals in my brain react very well when other people smile, or make small talk, or play music. I don't know though. I feel as if at the end of November, things turn. It's...kind of like the volta of my sonnet. And then it turns around again in May or June. Every year? Yeah. I liked the idea of Naturalism, but living in the inescapable cycle is by no means a good time. I want to cry, but I can't. Now it just feels like if I were to get a real hug, I'd break down into tears. I really wanted to in history. But I still couldn't. ...what the hell is wrong with me? Doubtfully nothing. Probably everything. And? I still feel selfish. Fabulous. |
