welcome.
Meow.
Meow. |
Probably two weeks. ...alright, until this independent study is over. Starting...now.
Yeah, I guess it's a love hate thing. Lots of hate...but a lot of love too. I'll keep it, I guess. The show's done. No more baby powdered hair. Or wrinkles...Or strange dresses... Now that things are winding down, I should probably make sure that I pass history. Damn 30 page paper. I'm not sure how I could feel neglected. But I sort of do. And I'm not entirely sure why. It's probably the weather. Friday gave me funny thoughts in puzzle pieces that fit into life a couple months ago, though I don't think it was the intention. It made me smile. :). I denied it for awhile...but I guess it was kind of cute and less unexpected after all. And then I gained more respect for him, as if I didn't have enough. I love people. I love people a lot.
Oh yes, please. Love is Art. Sleep Through Fire. 35...err...34 letters. Starting now. I have like...18 or so hours. It's going to happen. And it'll be good and such. Set it on some fire.
Okay. Calm. Good things. I look really creepy. Sam does a fantastic job making me look old... I'm impressed...creeped out, but impressed nonetheless. I don't think I'll ever get this junk out of my hair. Oh welllll. Regardless, opening night seemed to go well. The day itself was forgettable, but I don't think it was awful. Progress reports tomorrow. A little nervous. Stupid school. It needs to end.
I mean, let's list the reasons why: 1)-It's shallow 2)-It usually will sport poor spelling or grammar 3)-It's shallow 4)-Usually, it just indicates someone overreacting 5)-It's always interpreted wrong 6)-It shows a lack of poise and self control 7)-And it's shallow. Did I mention it was shallow? I did actually. It happened anyway though. Never have I ever voiced my being offended to someone. I never tell people specifically that I'm irritated at them. But you know, the only thing that might be worse is blogging about it. Too late. Brad Doggett's voice just seems to make things alright though. Very alright, actually. Mm. :) I like all of these Victorian poems that describe one person, but also tell about the writer. I just like the concept. New dress? New dress. Excited? Excited. And I want you to believe everything that I say
Eyes look really pretty after they cry, at least. But that sort of makes it worse. A weeks worth of tears seem very pathetic when they come out all at once. For. No. Apparent. Reason. I don't understand.
Just terrible. Friday was nice and entertaining. Saturday was a wash with mall trips and naps. And today was maskers junk and homework. Awesome. Maybe next weekend? Maybe next weekend. And uber amounts of catch up to do tonight. It'll be a late night, but ya know...could be worse... Rationale is basically done. Chinese needs some help. History needs some outlining. ....I should probably try to do some of that this week. "It's just ten separate essays..." Only it's not. :( They're horribly worded and complicated and I could complain about them forever. But I shouldn't. It'll all be over in a month. Goal this week? -Intro and three essays. -Finish a goddamn online class -Keep up on everything else. -Clean my room? -Clean my car? -Talk on the phone? -Have a social life? Nope. Not allowed. Not going to happen. "Oh you're not going? I guess it's not your scene anyway." -Wow. Thanks lady. Mm. Shows this week/weekend. Awesome.
[censored] I can't be that awful. Tomorrow will suck. This whole next week will suck. When are good things going to be consistent? Europe? I don't know. I'm not even sure it exists.
Like...makes me really mad. I'm just...grr... I don't even know, honestly. I'm not one for persistent headaches. Used a different pain killer. Doesn't seem to help. I've really messed up with the ibuprofen and coffee thing. It's not bad thing, it's just annoying. My body is just used to them and requires more of each to feel the benefits. It's just annoying. But whatever. I'll get over it I'm sure. This 30 page paper is making me less happy and enthusiastic. A lot of things are doing that, actually. Like tech week. 3-6 at school everyday. No thank you. And Bioethics debate. No thanks you. And auditioners not showing up for my auditions. No thank you. Better night, though. Very spontaneous and wonderful and enjoyable. Very much so. Hopefully it'll continue!
Yeah! School is getting super easy. I'm much happier with it. Yum. Computers are so slowwww sometimes. It's annoying. But that's alright. This is such a laid back week. There are things due but for some reason I'm just not stressed. Something good must be coming. I'm excited. Friday. Friday will be alright. Saturday will be a tad busy. And next week will be shot with tech week. Delicious. Better tell Carl I'll be late. Which is quite unfortunate, because I actually enjoy doing that. I like it a lot. I'm not that great at it, but I like it. Very nice. Light candles and go to sleep. Good plan.
And suddenly I'm just in a really happy mood. :) That's so awesome. I'm wicked behind on things...but I'm not stressed. Because I know I'll manage to get them done eventuallyy. Or maybe I just won't do them. Whatever. I don't care right now! My best friend is coming back. Both of them. And it's making everything just so much better. I knew the cloud would pass. I just wish it didn't take this long. 28 days until summer. Three weeks until tea party.
And I don't know why. Like, sure, tests are happening and school is annoying. But I'm just so bored for some reason. I don't understand it. I can't even really describe the boredom. It's all...shallow stuff that I'm doing I guess. I guess I'd just kind of like to do something worthwhile. I never know what I'm doing. I wonder sometimes.
School and Masker and Jazz concert and the desire to pass out. Free mod tomorrow. <3 Awesome. Need to finish math and sparknote and study WWII. Completely manageable. Because tomorrow things will be easy. The weekend might be complicated, but tomorrow will be easy. Come home...or go downtown. Jazz concert. And some online classes. But overall? Not too shabby. A little dull maybe, conversation wise. But it's alright for now. It's all alrightt. Meow. The fourth song singing wise nearly killed me. I was so exhausted...and also in desperate need of water. It had to happen once, right?
So stuck. Very stuck. And I don't like it one bit. But I'll get unstuck probably. Eventually. In five days I should be done with Pride and Prejudice and an AP exam and SATs. I don't like that I don't think I can do that. Sleep has been weird lately. Just texting a little. And music a little. But mostly just lying in bed and trying to sleep. And thinking while that happens. And wondering. And kind of worrying. Although there's nothing to be concerned about. I'm not concerned about school or current things. I'm not even too concerned about getting into an alright college, I think I'll do just fine. Yeah. We'll just get though the next year or so. And then we'll move away. And then we can go exploring. I like exploring.
Marf. "Induction next week!" "Nope!" "WHAT?!" -It happens. Often. And I know whyy. Tomorrow evening I should probably actually do my homework... Yeah. That'll be the goal. And maybe I should finish the SAT Prep course before I take the SATs. Just a thought. Though it probably won't happen. I'll get a good portion done tomorrow, hopefully, with skipping jesus. And then maybe I'll be caught up. And then maybe it'll be one less stress happening this week. And maybe I'm really glad that we had vacation before all of this. Because if it came right after the other 2-3 weeks of not being home, well... I don't know. I don't think I'd be in a particularly sober state. Regardless. It'll get alright. Jazz on Thursday and Friday. SATs on Saturday. AP Biology on Monday. And then? Done. ...minus that 50 page paper that will be assigned to me. But that's alright. I'll have a poetry one to write too. And full tank of gas to run away with.
And yeah...I'm going to be up for awhile doing school stuff again, just like every vacation. But I think that, for once, it's worth it. Weird. Regardless. I'm really excited for the week after this week+next Monday. Because APs will be over. And SATs round I will be done. And I'll sign up for other junk..but the major stresses of this year will be done. And then I only have 2 or 3 finals to take. Which is beautiful. I'm pumped. It's so close to being done. Hopefully I won't burn up completely. Because summer's coming, and that means various excursions up north with driving capabilities and some degree of parental trust and music making and writing and tea parties and syms and just things that aren't school. And Senior year will be lame. But that's alright. I'll take one more year, I guess. |
