welcome.
Meow.
Meow. |
Still love it. I don't care. Cicero...the weekend is yours. An interview, a paper, and another work... Mm. When's vacation? And Thanksgiving doesn't count. SATs in the morning. Yum.
I feel...strange. Sort of accomplished. Sort of...off kilter. Sort of, curious. Today started off poorly, but ended up being a very good day. I'm doing well. I've managed to balance extracurriculars and such. I've had time to practice, play piano. I mean, aside from never managing to eat consistently, I'd say life is alright. And that...concerns me. Everything's good. Good grades. Good outlook. Good life outside of school. Good. It's impossible to truly have good without having bad, and while I'm completely happy and grateful and pleased that everything's going so well, I have this feeling that something's going to throw it off. But I probably won't worry about that until after fall. A thunderstorm in September. I'll take it.
Stop being half sick. :/. This is stupid. I fell asleep doing math homework? At seven? And didn't wake up until after 8? Gross. On the bright side...Mr. Patten hit me with a rubberband today. If he didn't seem like such a cool guy, I would cry going to class. Auditions, SATs, reading reading reading... This weekend will be better. So will this week. Like, Regina better.
...less than desirable? It's muggy. Where's fall? I want to pick apples.
Ouch. I feel sick. And I don't like that.
I just really like this song for some reason or another. This week only contained four days. But those seemed rough. Senior year, right? I guess so. Talks with Sterling are always strange. Most dad like teacher ever...
So glad Central manages to screw over the class of 2012 at least once a year. Sweet. There's just something wrong with our class. There has always been. Dance was good though. Learned how to do pull backs. Now just have to do them at 222bpm. Sweet. Monologue selected. Going to pretend like I'm a decent actor. That's what actors do, right? They pretend? Oedipus paper is going to be interesting to write. I think it'll turn out fine...I'm just concerned still. As I should be I guess. I'd like to do alright... I figure this semester if I can pull out like...better grades than last year, college might like me. At least...the colleges I like might like me. But we'll see. College college college.
Today entails critical source reading and a large outline. A physics and chem sheet. A couple of calc problems. Some Greek literature. A doctor's appointment for shots and a revamp of drugs. A plan concerning the need for employment within the next few months. A soup day. A much needed soup day. Oh...and a little green article, I guess.
Such a cool song. Also very entertained with this. It's sticky. Meow. No school tomorrow. :) Pretty content. Telecommunication devices. Those are pretty cool, when used for their original purposes.
-Felix and the Volcano! This Lit homework is lame. It just seems like an awful lot of reading and such for a week. BUT FALL IS COMING. So it doesn't matter, now, does it? Nahh. Not really.
But now... It's chilly. Friday night consists of World Literature, Wuthering Heights, tea, candles, blankets, and corn chowder. Everything is better in the fall. Always. I just happen to be in my room still.
I love Wuthering Heights. <3 I also love that Vanilla Chai and pumpkin spice taste like fall. And that it's chilly outside. And that I can drink tea with a blanket and the window open and a candle and feel a chill. I love that feeling. Fall. Cold. Walks. Shivering a little bit, but not too much. Everything becomes more satisfying when it's cold. A hug. A coat. A blanket. Coffee. Tea. A breath of air. It's just my favorite. Fall also treats me really well. I mean, winter's rude to me. But Fall and I are friends. Black and white dresses pull up too many weird memories for me. Why? I couldn't tell you why such nostalgia is associated with them. But there is. And it's weird. And it makes me ask why. Why. Why. I also think it's odd that smells linger in clothes for so long. Smells evoke memories too. Gross.
Yes, Cathy. The song is about strippers. Heels. Burlesque. This is going to be beyond awesome. Very happy with the decision to come back. <3 Cute, harmonies and such
I also don't really want to apply to WPI, RPI, or RIT. But I will. Because it's just easier that way. "Did it help, yesterday?" I'm going to go read the Iliad. And do math homework. And start an essay. Because, right now, I'd like to do anything other than talk. I'm so so so so so sorry for being nothing more than a sad, frustrated person that complains too much. I feel awful about it. Please know that I don't mean it. The pictures from 9/11 are so powerful. All I remember is coming home from school early to my parents crying. And me, very confused, staring at a screen that showed a plane flying into a tower. Was is a mistake? Is it a joke? I was in the second grade. I figured it out. And it still didn't make sense. To this day it doesn't make sense to me. I was confused. I still am. I don't usually pray. But I did this morning.
I love soup days. I love picnic days even more. They just make really awful mornings seem not so bad. I love you guys. <3 <3 <3
I wish I knew what I wanted. Picnic day tomorrow! Yay picnics! I'm so excited!
Conflicting appointments freak me out, even thought they're really easy to fix. And it was super easy to fix. It's fixed. Yeah. Everything just gets pushed back a little bit...which is okay. Tea and ibuprofin and music and soup-days. Soup day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! With my favorite people in the whole entire world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That definitely makes things better. :) I'm listening to Smash Mouth right now. Guess who's also babysitting Katy? It happens....but it's not for youuuuu! I don't know why I'm so stressed, because I'm actually doing alright. I just can't seem to convince myself of it yet. Like...part of me understands that I'm fine. But the rest of me is...well...complicated. You know how women are. Complicated. That's why they were made last, remember? World Lit is really everywhere, isn't it?
SAT, ACT, SAT II Chem. and DONE. I'm so pumped to be almost done. Then there's audition prep stuff. And essays during the next month or so. And just making sure I look attractive, in general. Which is really hard. But I'll manage to look alright I think. It just seems like so much. And I want to do none of it. But if I don't, I won't get to leave...and that's just how it goes. Interviews. Auditions. Test dates. Ibuprofen. Caffeine. Spotty naps. Hey, school. What the heck? Why ya gotta be so complicated?
I got frustrated the day before when it didn't rain at all. I just wanted the sky to open up and spill down to cool the ground. And also just to help me calm the heck down. And then, at two in the morning, it was finally raining. And I could open up my window again. And it sounded so pretty. I like the feeling of it when it falls on my arms. It happens. Nothing says breaking in the school year like four ibuprofen after school. He comes another long relationship with caffeine and analgesics. Sweet.
School's going to be lame, in itself. College stuff is never fun. Then the waiting. Then the financial aid. Then scholarships. And what's prom? Because I still have very little desire to go. I haven't quite been convinced yet...I'd rather have tea parties in formal attire. But wait. School doesn't give you time for such things. But there are better things. I've gotten into my "get lots of music during the school year" thing. $30 spent today on music. It's a random binge that makes things calmer. It was freaking hot today...I made hot tea. When I'm tired, I have a tendency to get frazzled and stressed over dumb things. Thus why this post has absolutely no form and just kind of has that "whoa, Olivia, are you listening to Evanescence again?" feel. And, for the record, it's not on my computer anymore. I reworked a song yesterday. Which was cool, because I've never been able to do that. To take a concept and tweak it in a desirable way. I'm happy with it thus far. I think it'll be really pretty when it's done. Goodness, I hate the idea of blogs. They're so self-serving.
I think I love you. I think I'm mad.
One more year, a few more tests...and then maybe, maybe, I'll know what I'll do next. Because I still don't know. :( There's logic, and there's happy. I don't know yet. I'm not sure that logic makes me happy currently. I watched When Harry Met Sally tonight. I love that movie. It might be the only romantic comedy I'd ever admit to liking a lot. I like the concept. I like the music, mostly. Except for the wedding scene where the jazz combo is playing, none other than, Don't Be That Way. Wait. So that was really a song? So confused. But the movie just makes me happy for some reason. Making lists. And writing letters. And covering books. And thinking. A three day weekend requires tea and, apparently, a World Lit essay. Excuse me. I mean, AP English Literature and Composition Level 4. It's just one class, right? How bad could it possibly be?
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