welcome.
Meow.
Meow. |
December was rough. I don't remember November. And things started sucking in October. And September was awkward enough, transitioning from August. Which meant August was weird. But it had a lot of college visits. Then again, so did July. June was strange. Maybe we should have cancelled. May was exciting; SATs, AP Tests, Tech week, and a bazillion jazz concerts. April was kinda cool. March was lame. February was a little boring. January was just long. I got a D on that Pre-Calc final. Still got out of the semester with a B. But I mean...good things happened. I had friends go to college, which told me that I could probably make it through one more year of high school. I applied to college. I got a job. ...stuff like that. "Are you all set?" But for some reason, at this moment in time, a feel a huge weight on my chest. I'm sure that 2012 is going to be great, but everything for the first few months is hanging on a thread, making sure everything is balanced. And calm. And well executed. Sending off a few things to college in the midst of jazz concerts and projects and...yeah. "Find everything you were looking for today?" I guess I'd also like to have some fun this year. My goals have all been college related for awhile. "I can take the 15% off at the end for that." Maybe the weather will be nicer next year. Maybe college in autumn will be nice. Maybe I'll be able to meet some new people, and get away from some I already know. Maybe I'll finish my online gym class. Maybe my patience level will be restored. Maybe I can pretend to be unnoticed. Maybe I'll figure out that's impossible to just be invisible. Maybe I can still slip out of rooms quietly enough to go to sleep. Maybe I'll get some rest. Maybe I'll do a couple of auditions and then apologize for not wishing to attend. Maybe I'll start looking at medical schools. Maybe...maybe I'll calm down, haha. Yes. That would be nice. "Could I grab your phone number?" And this year was particularly strange. I actually kept all of the friends that I started out with. Which I appreciate. I don't like when people leave. I read an article the other day about people "falling off the radar" with relationships...just not addressing problems and leaving without notice. I think it's sad. I hope that doesn't happen this year. "Would you like to enter your email address today for coupons or reward's points?" I'm trying to decide if I'm excited for next year or not. And I'm honestly not sure. I mean, I'm excited for college, but something else is bound to happen, right? "You're total is $2.99, go ahead and slide your card." But what would it be? I don't know if I want anything exciting to happen. I just kind of want...a peace of sorts. Like that feeling right before you go to sleep. "If you could just sign the keypad." Peace is the goal. "I'll just put your receipt in a bag. Have a nice evening." |
