welcome.
Meow.
Meow. |
I don't like confrontation, so I turn into a hermit. And get walked on. And get just plain confused. I feel so empty right now. And there's nothing that I would like to fill the feeling with. The weird, probably caused by bad posture, hole in my chest, spinning head, fuzzy eyes. All because I just don't understand anything anymore. I don't understand people. I don't understand thoughts. I don't understand actions, and I really don't understand reactions. And I don't understand why I feel so scared all the time. It's like I need someone sitting over me so that I feel tethered to the ground. Stable. Real. Not just the selfish person my insides are morphing into, into knots and turns and caverns. And then there's the added Spring-like air, that solidifies doubts and makes me cry for fall again. Maybe this time it'll be better. Maybe it won't rain so much and the colors will be nice. Maybe I'll go up north to see it like I've always wanted to. Maybe I'll go hiking. Maybe I'll find extra cash to take a drive somewhere. Anywhere. Or maybe I'll find a way to actually get some artistic release. Find a muse. Sing more. Try to be less of a jerk. Or be happier. Or maybe just go to bed. But the weekend is basically done and I can't do anything about it. But I love you. And yet I'm a terrible friend. I'm sorry. I don't know what's wrong. Oh, sweet nothing...I ain't got nothin' at all. |
